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Monday, August 20, 2007 11:17 AM
clarification
things have been rather jumbled up recently and i kinda feel a need to explain myself and get things off my chest so, i hope that no one takes anything to offence or no one takes it the wrong way. it's been weeks since i last talked to you why you may ask? it started off with you having weird behaviours and i didnt know why, neither would you tell me, so i decided to just keep quiet. at first i was constantly worrying if i did anything wrong towards you to anger you but then i found out the real reason and i tried to talk to you after that again, but everytime i talk to you i would always get shot down by you. you'll always give me one worded replies or you wont reply me at all you talked to the others as per normal and as for me, you still wouldnt talk to me why? why was i the only one who had to go through this? why me? why not just anyone else? we were so close for a point of time before this came and we drifted finally i couldnt stand it no more, so i decided to ignore it and wait for better times when better times came, you initiated conversations with everyone except me once again, it got me worried but by then i really couldnt care less because i disliked being treated like that and i really was tired of trying to talk to you when everything cooled down and every problem was settled, another problem arised who is going to initiate a conversation with who first? by then i was afraid of initiating as i didnt want to get shot down again and feel sad and bothered over it and i remembered you had this theory "if the person stops talking to you, then fine lor, i dont talk to the person lor. why should i start talking to the person first if the person doesnt want to talk to me?" very puzzled, i wonder if i should follow that theory? but knowing that you were not the kind who might initiate a conversation, i tried to say hey and all still it didnt work and now im just tired of trying already it's not that i dont wanna talk to you it's that im afraid of feeling sad all over again because my friend doesnt want to talk to me i dont wanna go through all that worrying and getting upset all over again i guess i wasnt really counted as a friend that you would care for? you mentioned you got your best friends back. i guess i wasnt even close to close friends? im really tired, i dont want to go through this again. i thought i ought to explain myself once and for all hope that you dont take it in the wrong way
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